The short version
- Stress is the body's response to an outside pressure. It usually eases once the situation passes.
- It can show up in your body, your thinking and your behaviour, and is not always easy to recognise.
- Slow breathing, movement, talking to someone and breaking tasks into small steps are simple techniques that health services recommend.
- Alcohol, cigarettes and other quick fixes tend to make things worse over time.
- If stress is constant, getting in the way of daily life, or not improving, speak to a doctor.
Everyone feels stressed from time to time. A deadline, a difficult conversation, a run of bad nights or a week with too much in it will do it. Stress is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is the body's ordinary response to pressure.
That does not make it pleasant, and it does not mean you have to put up with it unaided. This guide explains what stress is, how to recognise it early, and what the NHS and the US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) suggest for managing the everyday kind.
What stress is
The NIMH defines stress as the physical or mental response to an external cause, such as a heavy workload or an illness. The cause, called a stressor, may be a single event or something that repeats over a long time.
Stress is not always harmful. In short bursts it can sharpen your attention and help you rise to a challenge, and the NHS notes that some people find it helpful or even motivating. Problems arise when it is intense, constant, or goes on for a long time without relief.
Stress and anxiety are not quite the same
The two overlap, and people often use the words interchangeably. The NIMH draws this distinction:
| Stress | Anxiety |
|---|---|
| Generally a response to an outside cause | Generally internal: your reaction to stress |
| Tends to go away once the situation is resolved | Can persist even when there is no immediate threat |
| Can be positive or negative | Usually involves a lasting feeling of apprehension or dread |
Both can affect the mind and the body, with symptoms such as worry, tension, headaches, body pain and loss of sleep.
How to recognise it
Stress can affect how you feel physically, how you think and how you behave. The NHS points out that it is not always easy to recognise when stress is the reason you are feeling or acting differently.
Common signs include:
- In your body: headaches, tense or aching muscles, an unsettled stomach, a racing heart, tiredness.
- In your mind: difficulty concentrating, constant worry, feeling overwhelmed, forgetfulness, trouble making decisions.
- In your behaviour: being irritable or short-tempered, sleeping or eating more or less than usual, avoiding people or places, drinking or smoking more.
Noticing your own early signs is useful. It gives you the chance to act before the pressure builds.
Things you can do in the moment
Slow your breathing
Breathing is the one part of the stress response you can control directly. The NHS recommends this calming technique, which takes a few minutes and can be done anywhere:
- Sit, stand or lie in a comfortable position, with your feet about hip-width apart.
- Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it.
- Try breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Breathe in gently and regularly. Counting steadily from one to five can help. You may not reach five at first.
- Let the breath flow out gently, counting from one to five again.
- Keep going for at least five minutes.
It works best when it is practised regularly, as part of your day, and not only in a crisis.
Move
A walk around the block will not solve the problem that is stressing you, but it can clear your head and change how you feel while you deal with it. Being physically active is one of the NHS's five steps to mental wellbeing, and exercise is on the NIMH's list of ways to cope. See Walking for health for an easy way to start.
Step away briefly
A short break, a drink of water, a few minutes outside or a change of room can interrupt a spiral of pressure. Returning to a task after five minutes is usually more productive than forcing your way through it.
Things that help over the longer term
Talk to someone
The NHS's first suggestion for stress is to talk about your feelings to a friend, a family member or a health professional. Saying a worry aloud often makes it smaller, and other people can offer both perspective and practical help. Staying in touch with people who support you is good for health in general, as we explain in Why social connection matters for your health.
Break things down
When everything feels urgent, write it all down. Then separate what must be done today from what can wait, and divide the large tasks into smaller steps. The NHS advises against trying to do everything at once and suggests setting small targets you can easily achieve.
Put your effort where it can make a difference
Some causes of stress can be changed and some cannot. The NHS suggests not dwelling on the things you cannot change, and putting your time and energy into helping yourself feel better.
Plan for difficult days
If you know a stressful day or event is coming, a little preparation helps: planning a journey, making a list, deciding in advance what you will say.
Look after the basics
Stress is harder to handle when you are tired, hungry or wired. The NIMH recommends:
- sticking to a sleep routine and getting enough sleep;
- exercising, and eating healthy, regular meals;
- avoiding too much caffeine.
Our guides to sleep hygiene and healthy eating cover these.
Write it down
Keeping a journal is another of the NIMH's suggestions. Writing about what is worrying you can help you spot patterns: the situations, times of day or people that reliably raise your stress.
Question unhelpful thoughts
Under stress, thinking tends to become all-or-nothing: "I'll never get this done", "This always happens". The NIMH suggests identifying and challenging negative and unhelpful thoughts. Asking "Is that actually true?" or "What would I say to a friend in this position?" can loosen their hold.
Try mindfulness
Paying attention to the present moment can help you notice signs of stress earlier. Mindfulness for beginners explains what it is and how to begin.
What tends to make it worse
Some ways of coping work in the short term and cost more later. The NHS advises trying not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve stress, because these can all contribute to poor mental health.
It also helps to remember that you are not alone in this. Most people feel stressed at some point in their lives, and support is available.
A realistic aim
A life without stress is not on offer. A life in which you notice stress sooner, have a few reliable ways of easing it, and know when to ask for help is entirely possible. Start with one technique, perhaps the breathing exercise, and practise it on an ordinary day, so that it is there when you need it.
References
- Stress. NHS.
- Breathing exercises for stress. NHS.
- I'm So Stressed Out! Fact Sheet. National Institute of Mental Health (NIH).
- Stress (questions and answers). World Health Organization.
- 5 steps to mental wellbeing. NHS.
Written by
The Diurna editorial team researches and writes each guide, working from public-health guidance and peer-reviewed research.
